Saturday, August 6, 2011
Interesting choice for the collage. I didn't even realize that Nike was running this huge campaign. I especially liked how focused the collage pictures are on specific parts of the women's bodies. From their butts to their legs, Nike is telling women exactly what's right for them and what they should be doing. I think this is a great company to look at how they are shaping the ideal woman and how they are combining that with the ideas of respect and pride. You found a very specific brand which was good and allowed you to really focus your analysis.
There were a few typos here and there, nothing serious. While Nike is certainly pressuring women to fit into a specific body type, I'm not sure that it's all that bad. (Relative to other advertising campaigns.) It's healthier to be strong and powerful both physically and mentally than to starve yourself and become weak and malnourished. So on the one hand it's shady that Nike is shaping what women should be, but it could be worse. Either way that doesn't make it right, cool post.
Nice post Kristi!
Ways in which you excelled:
-Your choice of "product" to analyze (Gucci fashion) was a good decision. The gendered differences that appear in the ads in your collage are all very relevant to class discussions and the readings from the past few weeks. Your collage itself speaks volumes about Gucci's approach to gender without having to clarify with a single sentence. Really well done!
-I think you chose good excerpts from the readings to support your points. Kilbourne's arguments about women being subordinate clearly manifest themselves in your collage, and Jhally's points about image-based advertising are also applicable to your thesis. You use these sources well to strengthen your own arguments.
Ways in which you could have improved:
-There was a sentence in the first body paragraph that got cut off and made the reading a bit confusing. Consider omitting or revising that part.
-The reading gets a bit choppy where you use outside quotes. This isn't a big issue, but you may sound even more persuasive if you could find a way to make the quotes fall more seamlessly into the flow of your writing.
Good post. I never thought that Skyy Vodka is being advertised to men. Your quotes tie in with your argument very well and they compliment the collage too. Your collage was good because your arguments brought out the similar marketing strategy throughout the pictures. One small thing I thought when going through your post was the title of the post is a little broad for the arguments discussed in it. Everything looks good though and I liked how it got me thinking that Skyy Vodka is advertised to men.
I thought you did a really good job with the introduction by giving background on the company and leading in to your thesis. I also liked the way that you tied in the way Budweiser uses misogyny with the way Esquire started doing long ago.
There wasn’t much that could be improved on. Parts of it were a bit wordy and could have been more concise. However, I thought you did a great job overall.
First of all I like your collage you can clearly see the distinction between food for women and food for men for McDonalds. I like that you picked a very popular thing to anaylze like McDonalds because we all can relate in some way and all had some experience with McDonald's food. Through your collage and writing analyzing the difference between the two types of food. However I feel that you should have picked on type of gendered food to analyze because it would have made your analysis more in depth. But overall good post!
Good work Quay, this was a good post.
Things you did well:
-Your collage was done well. when I was putting together my pictures I had a hard time getting them to look good but yours looked great and represented you post well.
-I also liked you first paragraph. Giving the reader a little background information on the product you were talking about was a great idea
Thins to work on:
-There were a couple grammatical errors such as one of you sentences is a question and it ends with a period. Just a couple minor things like that.
-The last paragraph you talk about gendered colors. You say its not pink and purple but still represented for women. I think you should have gone a little deeper into this and explained a little more about this.
I think you did a really good job of using the write-up and collage in order to make your point. It's interesting how such a gender-neutral like vodka can be subjected to such gender biased marketing. Your collage does a good job of illustrating all the points you made in your post. The only room for improvement I see would be that your subject matter was a little too broad (using multiple vodka brands). However, despite that, this was a very interesting blog post and I especially liked the collage.
Friday, August 5, 2011
Your collage does a great job of being a visual for what the rest of your blog says. The way you positioned your pictures shows the distinct gender separation involved with Gillette razors. I also liked the point you made about how for women, hair removal is a feminine process, and so women's razors reflect this. As for the male side of this, I loved that you incorporated the shark week commercial! I laughed at how outrageous the concept was. My little sister even commented, "yeah, like every man shaves underwater with sharks" (there may be hope for future generations of critical pop culture viewers!). The quote you used to back this up was very relevant to your argument, so you did a great job with that. I'm not sure if the images were cited exactly in MLA format, but we can see what sites you got them from. Other than that, great job with this last blog! Have a nice summer!
Interesting topic! I like the quotes, they fit the argument incredibly well. Also the photo collage helps introduce and tie the two quotes together. I like how you used the tv commercial as well in your argument, not just the print ads. However, some of the wording was a little repetitive. The sentence structures are pretty uniform, adding more of a repetitive feel. You could have commented more on the distinction between light and regular beer; it had me a little confused. Overall it was a great post; it kept me thinking!
I really liked your post! I thought you did a good job overall. Pepsi was a good product to choose for this assignment. You did a great job making the collage with hot women and celebrities. Your thesis is well formed and specific, which helps the flow into the next two paragraphs. I also liked the quotes you used because they were very relevant for your argument. I like Breazeale's phrase of "one-dimensional representations of women" and your analysis that the consumers don't care about the opinions of the girls in the ads; they are just attracted to the hot bodies. I also really liked your last point that there are unconscious desires to be like a celebrity, so using celebrities in ads is a great way to attract consumers to the product.
I actually don't know what you could have done better. I thought this was very well written. Good job.
Saturday, July 30, 2011
This was an interesting post. I liked how you decided to look at products from one toy-maker, especially one that has a history of making gender-based toys like Nerf. You did a good job of making your arguments clear throughout this post. However, I feel that if you had mentioned a product listed on the Toys 'R Us website made by Nerf, it would have improved your argument. It would have been a good example of how Nerf markets their products to young males. Besides that, I think you did a very good job in your blog post.
You gave a great and candid analysis of the role and impact of Barbie Dolls on shaping the ideals of young girls. It was an interesting point about how accessible these toys are by almost any socioeconomic class. Whether poor or rich, there still seems to be a corresponding doll for parents to purchase for their young daughters. Sadly Barbie does seem to exemplify what it means to be a female in this country. That point you made is big in my mind. When the entire life goal of a female can be defined by a children's play toy there might be something wrong! (Beauty, fashion, marriage.) I've been sitting here trying to think of the male equivalent but I really can't. At least nothing on the scope of what Barbie perpetuates.
The beginning felt slightly awkward. I think you might have been switching tenses or something, but I don't have a strong writing background so don't take my word for it. You probably could have broken up the gender stereotypes into different analysis paragraphs. I felt like some paragraphs tended to say very similar things.
We only have one more to go! Woot.
Your blog post was easy to follow and enlightening. You hit all the points of your thesis in an easy to read and well organized manner. The quotes you found in the reading fit into your arguments very well. The pictures from the dolls do help to see the gender specific roll of delicacy and that all girls are not alike. I liked how you noted that the American Girl Dolls portray the multiracial world we live in, giving girls the option to choose a doll based on any race. Great post, I enjoyed it.
Things you did well:
- Your break down of your paper was easily seen from your thesis and you followed the plan that you set for yourself. Your thesis was, "According to this toy, the ideal woman is white, rich, preoccupied with appearance, and limited to traditional female roles." and once the reader reads that they can prepare for the first topic to be race, and then social class, and so on. I think that its important to list these in order to not only plan the paper for yourself but it also helps the reader.
- Barbie being a toy often discussed in class, can lead to a paper about barbie stale. However, because of the amount of topics tackled such as social class along with the other topics you added more variety and interest. I personally never had really thought about Barbie's wealth but thinking about it after you brought it up made it become so apparent.
Things to improve on:
- You talk about how Barbie is primarily white and wealthy which was great but I think within those two paragraphs you should explain the messages it sends to the little girls. To back up your thesis that Barbie is setting the ideal woman goal you need to explain how all the Barbie's being white and rich effects the girls.
- Some grammar issues here and there. Not really sentences with errors but if you re worded them it may be easier for the reader.
Another great post Danielle!
Kevin's feedback on Sarah's "A Boys Choice? Propagation of Societal Gender Roles in Video Game Marketing" post
Interesting post Sarah! I enjoyed reading it. I've been impressed with your writing.
Ways in which you excelled:
-Your observations about the exclusivity of male characters in sports video games were accurate and showed a good sense of perspective. My brother and I play the Madden NFL games a lot, and it was not until I read your post that I actually thought about the COMPLETE lack of female presence in these games. I think I own every installment of the game since 2004, and the only time I ever remember seeing a female in the game, ever, is in a 5 second cut-scene of a hypersexualized cheerleader dancing during a halftime show. I'm shocked that it had never occurred to me so severely before. Valid point!
-It actually took me over a minute to find the Rolling Stones printed on the cover of that dance game. Frustrating for me, but it totally demonstrates your point that they are not intended to be as visible as Rihanna and the rest.
Ways in which you could have improved:
-Your observations about the toys you analyzed were excellent, and your analysis was quite good as well, but I suppose you could have elaborated just a bit more about the values that these toys impart on young boys.
-Not a big deal, but your longer paragraphs could have been shorten to two, more precise paragraphs. I'm only aware of this because I've written papers where I have written paragraphs that take up 2/3 of a page [single spaced!], and I get this feedback all the time. I don't mind it so much, but I think it helps some readers maintain their focus and attention.
I thought that you took a very interesting angle in comparing G.I. Joe to Ken. It worked out very well. I also liked the point that you made about Ken needing someone and being marketed just as an accessory to Barbie. The side-by-side images were also helpful in supporting your thesis.
Although I think you did a great job, parts of your post seemed a little too repetitive when it came to making your point. I also thought that since you are quoting Messner in terms of his study, it might have been a good idea to give a brief one sentence summary of what his study was about. The reader of your blog may not be familiar with this study.
I really liked this post. I liked how you point out that the female transformers have thin arms, legs, and waist and large breasts. I liked your analysis that since these toys are for male children, the female transformers represent the ideal women the male children should be attracted to. I also thought your overall analysis was well formed. You did a good job incorporating the quotes into the post and making them into their own paragraphs. I thought the quotes you chose were very relevant.
The pictures also helped me visualize the male and female transformers so I could see the masculinity and femininity portrayed in each!
However, I thought the thesis could have been more focused and specific. The thesis could explain why or how the transformers facilitate normative gender roles.
Other than that, I thought you did a really good job.
Another great blog post!
-The images incorporated into your blog post were very helpful in grasping the full visuals of what you were discussing for both toys. I also liked that you picked up on details within the images ( ex: you focused not just on the Bratz doll, but on her accessories as well, which I felt were just as important)
-You did a very thorough job in developing the character of Heather, and due to this, I was able to connect really well to the article
- You picked very interesting quotes from our readings and utilized them in a creative manner
-I think that your thesis could have been a little more specific. I felt that although your paper had specific topics, I would have liked to see these introduced from the start.
- The ending conclusion paragraph is not so much a conclusion for the entirety of the blog post, so much as a conclusion for the point you were making about females and the car industry.
I always really like to read your blog posts, you have a very well developed writing style, and your points are very interesting and enlightening. Again, another good job!
I like what you brought up about how when Barbie happens to be doing a somewhat masculine thing like camping, she finds a way to still have a very girly flare to it. I also like the images you chose to support your argument. I noticed just a few grammatical errors, but nothing too serious. I like the quotes that you chose from the readings, but maybe you could explain them a little more by placing them in their own paragraphs following each paragraph that you want to support with a quote. Overall, you did a great job with this blog.
I enjoyed reading this blog post and particularly like the flow of it. This post was well structured and I like how you inserted the pictures throughout the blog and then analyzed it.This helped me visualize your analysis much better.However, I felt that your thesis statement could have been more complex,would have lead to an even better analysis.
Friday, July 29, 2011
This blog post was very informative! I never realized nerf guns were advertised so violently. I liked the picture reference, it helped me visualize the marketing strategies. Also I liked the speculation at the end about why Michael would want the toy. The analysis in the third paragraph is quite thorough and impressive. However, I would recommend having more quotes to structure the analysis better. Also another point of improvement would be to organize the paragraphs a bit better, I felt like it jumped around a little. The final suggestion would be that you could analyze the social impact on nerf guns a bit more in depth. Does the fact that the gun is a social toy affect how popular it is among boys? Overall great post!
I really enjoyed reading this post! I think you did a great job analyzing toys’ role on the development of children in this society. Though I believe this entire piece was extremely interesting, one of my favorite parts was when you compared boys’ toys to their universally accepted “rite of passage.” This overexposure that boys have to guns at such young ages really may be a contributing factor to this country’s high homicide rate. I think it would be interesting if people started to take this into consideration and stopped encouraging the ‘toy gun’ so that we could see what the effects would be in the long run.
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Brendan's Feedback on Alexis' Post: Constructs of Femininity and Masculinity Portrayed in Desperate Housewives
Having never seen Desperate Housewives, this review makes the show seem almost as terrible as the one I wrote my post on! You did an excellent job selecting a show and episode that could be analyzed within the constructs of masculinity and femininity. The entire story goes from bad to worse to horrible as the female depiction becomes more stereotypical with each passing moment. It was perfect how the readings we have been studying fit exactly into the depiction of femininity on the episode. The overall ideas presented by the readings you chose worked well by providing evidence for your analysis. Gabrielle making the ultimate sacrifice by attending the event "ugly" and "naked" seems almost outrageous when I'm reading your post about it. I'm sure when watching the episode and zoning out it may be easier to not realize how absurd this episode really is.
One thing you might have been able to improve upon was the overall structuring of the post. Instead of making one point and then backing up the point with evidence, it seemed that you made multiple points in a few paragraphs and then did a few paragraphs of analysis afterwords. It just made it slightly harder for me to follow. I had to skim upwards a few times to make sure I knew exactly which part of the show you were referring to. Overall great job! It was a perfect episode and your analysis was spot on.
Your blog post was very clear and to the point. I could plainly see the examples you used as well as how they related to class. I feel like the only person in the world who has never watched Degrassi, but from what I’ve heard, this episode is just as dramatic as everyone says the show can be. I noticed a couple run-ons and one or two spelling errors, but nothing that distracted from the message you were trying to get across. I liked the examples you used, but maybe a few more from the episode could have given us a little more to understand about the characters. Overall, I think you picked a great episode for this assignment and did well with your analysis.
Overall this was a great post and I understood your analysis even though I never watch the show.
Things you did well:
-I think you hit the analysis right on the nose and you did a good job in connecting Pozner's and Lull's pieces to your own.
-Also I liked the structure of the post because It was easy to read and the flow was good.
Things you can improve on:
- The analysis part of this blog post was great, but for a person that never seen this show it was to try to connect to the characters. I think you could have put a little more detail about the show itself and the character before you went into your analysis.
- Other than that everything was good!
All in All I think this was a great post. I've seen a lot of That '70s Show and after you explain the different examples of Hegemony and Patriarchy I was very surprised on how different that show can be seen. I really enjoyed reading this. Here are my comments:
Things you did well:
- Although I have seen this show before I like how well you explained the show as though no one has seen it before. You explain each character you are going to use well and if I hadn't seen the show I don't think it would have made much of a difference.
- I very much liked how you included both how Donna fights Hegemony but is also bound to it because of everyone around her. This contrast made the post very interesting.
Things to improve on:
- Although I think the contrast between the fight between counter-hegemony and hegemony itself was a great idea, I also think you have to be careful with how you write it because if read the wrong way it can almost seem as though you are battling against yourself and your thesis
- Other then that and the occasional grammar error I think your first blog went very well!