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Saturday, July 24, 2010

Henry on Derek's Blog Post #2


You make strong points and back it up with appropriate quotes from the readings.

I like the recurring theme of "I will not be womanized" that you've incorporated. It reinforces that idea.

You've made Britney Spears seem feminist through this. Good Job.


There are some grammatical errors.

You can work on your thesis more. Maybe like adding in the specific points you will deal with throughout the essay.

Some sentences were confusing, like "to be womanized is not on her personal agenda of career aspirations and she can make the strive for accomplishments with the accommodation of sexual exploitation" I don't see where you were going with the "sexual exploitation" reference there.

Note: "If i were a boy..." is by Beyonce.

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