Hannah's Feed on Henry's Blog: Critical Analysis on the HBO Series, Entourage

Strength:

I thought your introduction and conclusion were interesting.  I liked the fact that you discussed by adding a Chinese American homosexual into the mix. It added diversity into a racially homogeneous show.

I thought it was interesting how you examined the relationship between Lloyd and Ari.  I thought by discussing the relationship, you help to demonstrate the uniqueness of the portrayal of Lloyd .

I liked your piece in the beginning about Lloyd breaking the stereotype of Chinese Americans in the media.  I thought the quote you included helped to prove your point effectively.

Weakness:

I thought you should have broken down the paragraphs.  I found myself getting lost in your prose, and therefore have trouble grasping the full meaning.  I thought if they were shorter, it might have been easier to follow your argument. Also, be careful of run-on sentences.

I wish that you had addressed masculinity and femininity more directly. Although your ideas about sexuality and race were interesting, I thought if you had more analysis about gender, it would have strengthened the ideas present in your paper.

Lastly, I think you could have strengthened your thesis statement.  I had trouble picking out a definitive subject for the paper.

Just a note: If possible, in your next blog, I would encourage you to use the same font throughout your paper.  It looks a bit better stylistically.