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Saturday, May 15, 2010

Alyssa's feedback on Alex's Blog: Patriarchy and Masculinity in Beauty and the Beast

I liked that you used the definition of masculine to add to the strength of your argument.
You had good examples, especially incorporating how gender types affect everyone, beginning with children at a young age.

Improvement areas:
There were a few grammatical errors. Along with this I think you could have used more transition words to begin your paragraphs.
I think your quotes from Newman were important but it seemed as though that paragraph was just quotes. I feel you could have used these quotes for more of an analysis and connection to your points.

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