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Saturday, May 31, 2008

Sex Sells: Femininity Depictions in Advertising

Name of Author - Melissa

Nice job on:
1. Strong and relevant thesis statement. Your second paragraph did an especially good job of backing up the latter part of your thesis. Also very nice collage.
2. Very nice in-text citations and works cited list. Good job on citing the images, although why did you cite only 5 when there are 9 images?

Areas for potential improvement:
1. Watch your quote length, a paper this short should not contain a quote more than 3 lines.
2. Be careful with the cohesiveness of your paragraphs. For instance in your first paragraph, you transistion from arguing how sex is used to sell products to arguing that soceity's view of the ideal body is depicted in the ads.

Daniel K.

May 31, 2008 1:23 AM

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