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Saturday, May 31, 2008

The Real Girls Next Door

Name of author - Jillian

Nice job on:
1. Your arguments, especially in the second and third paragraphs, support your thesis very well. The specific examples from the show and the pictures really help stress your point.
2. You used a lot of quotes from the readings that further develop your analysis.

Areas for potential improvement:
1. I thought the paragraphs on Hugh Hefner and masculine behavior and norms was very interesting but it kind of strays away from your thesis.
2. If you add a little more to the conclusion, restating and thus reinforcing the points you made previously, it would help to sum everything up nicely.

Erin J

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