Heather's feedback on Alyssa's Gender and Pop Culture Blog: Femininity and Masculinity in Glee

I really like the fact that you chose to analyze the ways in which the show broke the rules that media normally has in regards to gender, showing how Glee challenges our perceptions. Also, I specifically liked the argument you made about Tina. It may have been a more subtle differentiation of gender yet it is very pervasive in our culture.

I would be careful to hone in on the way you are going to analyze your topic earlier. I was not sure where you were going with your argument until half-way through your third paragraph. Also, although I really like your argument, sometimes it felt like it veered away from answering the initial question. If you wanted to tie in what you were saying more, you could have framed it by stating that the way that Glee chooses to define being female is through female empowerment. This was implied but could have been clearer.

Great choice!
-Heather

PS-Sorry I didn't post this earlier. I talked to Jessie on Thursday because I had to post this tonight due to the power/ internet outages at school.

Pam's feedback on Kathy's Blog

Kathy:
Strengths:

I liked how you analyzed Mike’s masculinity in this movie, you gave many good examples and proved your point well

I liked how you incorporated quotes on patriarchy, they supported your ideas well and gave me a new perspective on the movie

Needs Improvement:

It got kind of repetitive, since you kept reiterating Mike’s masculinity instead of making new points. You could maybe take some description of his masculinity out and talk about how his masculinity changes through his relationship with Abby. The movie portrays him as becoming the “perfect man” because he breaks his own rules by admitting he likes Abby for more than her body, yet he still maintains his superiority over Abby and remains a strong male character.

You could try and work on your overall organization, since you kept repeating old points instead of making new ones or giving new examples. Also try and explain your quotes instead of just inserting them, however you did choose your quotes well.

Good job, I enjoyed reading this, it gave me a new point of view on Ugly Truth.

Kathy's Feedback on Pam's blog: The Marriage Ref- Defining American Ideology One Couple at a Time

One of the things I liked best about your analysis is that I think you hit every point dead on. Your analysis was excellent, and after watching the clip I couldn't think of anything else to add because I think you pinpointed everything! I also thought your analysis flowed really well, as it was very easy to read and follow from beginning to end (because I previously had never seen this show).

There was a point where you referred to Jerry Seinfeld as Jerry Springer, so just be careful of minor grammatical mistakes. I also would have liked to have seen a clear thesis or objective. You make a really great argument, but you never really sum it up or define what exactly you are trying to prove as to what it means to be a man or woman in society.

Overall, great job! I enjoyed reading your post!

Jessica's Comments on Chris' Constructs of Femininity in Glade's Advertising

This was well done.

A few things:
1. The connection made between the Glade commercial and the Lipsitz reading conveyed a really strong point about American consumerism and societal expectations about femininity.
2. The argument flowed really well in connection to the readings. You also did a great job analyzing the 'big picture' and mentioning that commercials like Glade are not the only form of media representing a dominant ideology.

Two suggestions for improvement:
1. The conclusion may have been stronger if it re-stated the stereotypical role of a female in American society.
2. The paper provided a strong argument and connected perfectly with the readings, but it seemed to turn away from the initial argument (womanhood is synonymous with caretaker)into an argument about why the media maintains this stereotype.

Catherine's feedback on Alysse's: Masculinity and Femininity in Everybody Loves Raymond Regarding the characters of Raymond and Deborah

Overall, I really enjoyed reading your piece about the show Everybody Loves Raymond. I would have never thought to examine the relationships between the characters and relate them to the norms of masculinity and femininity like you did.

Excelled:
Your use of the Newman quote supports your examples perfectly to show the relationship between the roles of females and male set by the norms of masculinity and femininity. From this quote you were able to prove that the show depicts Raymond as working and going outside the home while Deborah is the stay at home mom.

The second quote you used also from Newman really helps to prove your point about the fact that Raymond's role on the television show does not typically meet the qualities of the typical masculine man. This shows you that Raymond does not fit the mold which is described by Johnson in is article about typical masculine and feminine characteristics.

Improvements:
One area that i would have liked to see more of is the specific quotes from the show. I think that this would have been able to express better of how they talk and show specific examples of how they go against the norms of masculinity or femininity. Also, i feel that it may have been easier to pick a specific episode to reference for examples.

The second area that I would have liked to see presented differently is the way you talked about both topics. You discussed how Debra and Raymond are both typical which was followed by the idea that they are not part of the norm and do no express certain male or female characteristics. I think it would have been better if you picked on point and argued that side.

I really enjoyed reading your piece and thought that you made excellent points and had great evidence to back them up.

Alex's feedback on Heather's Blog : Femininity and Masculinity as Depicted in The L Word

Some things that stood out in your post were the comparison between Shane and Max and your use of quotes to back you up. Speaking about the masculinity/femininity of the two at the same time was a great way to show the characteristics of each and define one of the words (either masculinity or femininity) in terms of what the other is not. I also as I said liked your use of the readings, particularly Newman's quote in paragraph #4, to further defend and prove your point.

I would have liked to see one example kind of fleshed out all the way. In the post, you provided a good amount of them, and all of them fit; it simply would have been nice to go more in depth on fewer. I also would have liked for your overall point to be more clear in the introduction. I did not truly see where your approach was going until later on in the body.

Alyssa's feedback on Alex's Blog: Patriarchy and Masculinity in Beauty and the Beast

Excelled:
I liked that you used the definition of masculine to add to the strength of your argument.
You had good examples, especially incorporating how gender types affect everyone, beginning with children at a young age.

Improvement areas:
There were a few grammatical errors. Along with this I think you could have used more transition words to begin your paragraphs.
I think your quotes from Newman were important but it seemed as though that paragraph was just quotes. I feel you could have used these quotes for more of an analysis and connection to your points.

John's Feedback on Katrina: And the Emmy Goes to...

I love your writing style. I think your voice is very sarcastic and playful, so it made the reading easier and more fun. It's very suitable for blogging. You're also very clear; I have never watched Friends, but I understood the characterizations and situations as you explained them. So bravo!

However, there isn't much of a thesis. Your opening paragraph is wonderful, but it's not really related to the rest of your paper. I like, for example, introducing the framework of the theatre; but you abandoned the metaphor after the opening. You have a strong opening and a strong example, but there wasn't enough to tie them together.

Katrina's Feedback on John's Blog "Express Yourself:" Femininity and Masculinity as Portrayed by Madonna

Excelled
- Thesis is reiterated througout the blog explaining what it means to be mal
and female and how the video is an attempt to shatter patriarchal views.
-There is a clear analysis of the gender roles displayed in the video.
Needs Improvement
-Needs improvement in tying more readings to your analysis.
-I would have also mentioned the male gaze depicted within the video. Her husband
is looking through the looking glass and imposing his biased view. He is the
overseer however we see the Madonna's overseeing in the end. I just thought
it was very symbolic and another way she is finally expressing herself.

Chris's Feedback on Jessica's Blog Post #2

Interesting post.

Some things I liked:
1) Great analysis of the song. It fits perfectly with what we've been discussing.
2) Interesting correlation with the Johnson piece.
3) Good use of Pozner as the piece fits well with the lyrics.

Some things that could use improving:
1) Minor grammatical errors
2) You could have maybe used a discussion of hegemony, specifically the use of ideas contrary to the mainstream.

Chris

Alysse DellaFave's Feedback on Catherine: Pink's "Stupid Girls": Poking Fun at Stereotypes

Excelled:


An effective aspect of your blog post was when you used different examples and lyrics from the actual video to support how women strive for perfection and how they challenge societal norms. I feel as though this evidence made your argument stronger in terms of showing how Pink expresses female norms, yet counteracts them.

You definitely made it clear as to what it means to be a woman by incorporating society’s perspective and Pink’s. Also, you excelled in showing how Pink constructs an understanding of femininity through her video by choosing to reference certain images she includes.

Improvement:

A certain area of your blog post that could be improved is the introduction regarding your inclusion of the definition of hegemony. I feel as though it would have been more effective if you supported it with a direct quote from Lull. In the future, when you first use a term that has been defined by someone else, quote the person right afterwards.

Also, you can improve on using in-text citations correctly. For the MLA format of in-text parenthetical citations, you always put the last name of the author and page number of where the quote was taken from in parenthesis. If the author’s name is stated in the sentence with the quote, all you need to do is put the page number of where the quote was taken from in parenthesis.

Additionally, I think you could have used maybe another quote from both Lull and Pozner to back up your argument even more. Both authors’ works directly relate to your topic, and I think it would have effectively enhanced your post. My suggestion is to look very closely at the readings and pick the most important statements, which you can elaborate on.

The Daily Show on: Hegemony, Ideologies, Racism & Patriarchy 2/4/08

From The Daily Show



Racist Like Me




John Oliver's Journey: Don't Stop Believing

Douglas Kellner. Cultural Studies, Multiculturalism, and Media Culture. pgs. 9-20

Description:

• Media portrayals can positively shape our world and define our values, but can also reinforce negative or otherwise undesirable aspects of society. (pg. 9)
  

Analysis:

• Television, film, and music tend to give either liberal or conservative views, though extreme or oppositional views are occasionally seen. This serves to reinforce political homogeneity. (pg. 10)


• Ideologies can enforce domination and subordination, such as class ideologies celebrating upper-class life and degrading that of the working class, or gender ideologies promoting sexist representations of women. (pg.11)


• Because the majority of television and film are controlled by large corporations primarily oriented toward profit, these media outlets are dominated by genres that establish homogeneous systems and well-defined boundaries. (pgs. 12-13)
  

Vision:

• Cultural studies provide individuals and citizens with the means to productively analyze and criticize a media-rich environment, which enables them to resist socio-cultural manipulation and domination. (pg. 10)
  

Strategy:

• Studying the production and political economy of culture is the first step in cultural studies. This refers to examining how cultural texts are produced and inserted into mainstream culture (pgs. 12-13).
• The next step is textual analysis, which requires close examination of cultural texts using a multiperspectival approach (pgs. 14-15).
• Finally, studying audience reception to cultural texts allows one to examine how members of different societies react to texts (pgs. 15-17).