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Saturday, May 22, 2010

John's Feedback on Katrina's "Mmm Mmm Manly is Good"

I really liked that you also chose to analyze a food product; I think a lot of people are so used to seeing everything gendered that they don't even think about it, especially when it comes to food. I've been seeing these Chunky commercials for years and I never even thought about it in terms of gender, but it absolutely works. Your third paragraph, the Katz quote in particular, is especially strong in proving your point.

In terms of what needs improvement, I think we all ran into a similar problem: wanting to say more than our three paragraphs would allow. There are two distinct and separate ideas in your two supporting paragraphs, but not much to tie them together. For example, I think it would have been more effective to move your first quote to the next paragraph and wrap up your argument about hypermasculinity, tying it into football somehow to transition into the next idea.

But overall this was a really good argument!

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