Saturday, May 29, 2010
Areas you excelled in-
-I think you did a really nice job with your toy selection you gave a wide variety of toys that a 10-year-old boy would like.
-I also feel that you excelled in describing each of your toys and relating them to how they construct gender roles today.
-Also I really think that you did a great job of describing your child that you were shopping for in this example by giving a lot of detail about his family life and background.
Needs some improvement-
-I really like the quotes you picked however I think that Newman chapter 4 may have helped to add one more quote about gender identity and how certain toys are marketed.
- The last area that I feel needed improvement is possibly add a quote earlier on before you started to describe the toys so you can tell the reader more about why you are analyzing toys possibly the definition of hegemony could have been put earlier.
Overall I think you had a really great piece and really chose a variety of toys that shows what is really on the market for young boys today.