An effective aspect of your blog post was when you used different examples and lyrics from the actual video to support how women strive for perfection and how they challenge societal norms. I feel as though this evidence made your argument stronger in terms of showing how Pink expresses female norms, yet counteracts them.
You definitely made it clear as to what it means to be a woman by incorporating society’s perspective and Pink’s. Also, you excelled in showing how Pink constructs an understanding of femininity through her video by choosing to reference certain images she includes.
A certain area of your blog post that could be improved is the introduction regarding your inclusion of the definition of hegemony. I feel as though it would have been more effective if you supported it with a direct quote from Lull. In the future, when you first use a term that has been defined by someone else, quote the person right afterwards.
Also, you can improve on using in-text citations correctly. For the MLA format of in-text parenthetical citations, you always put the last name of the author and page number of where the quote was taken from in parenthesis. If the author’s name is stated in the sentence with the quote, all you need to do is put the page number of where the quote was taken from in parenthesis.
Additionally, I think you could have used maybe another quote from both Lull and Pozner to back up your argument even more. Both authors’ works directly relate to your topic, and I think it would have effectively enhanced your post. My suggestion is to look very closely at the readings and pick the most important statements, which you can elaborate on.
Friday, May 14, 2010