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Saturday, May 31, 2008

Whats Cheaper, Women or Beer?

Name of author- Lisa

Nice job on:

1. Your collage looks great. It really illustrated the point you were trying to get across about women using their bodies to sell products.
2. You did a nice job with your thesis. It was very concise and corresponded with the paragraphs that followed.

Areas for potential improvement:
1. The second and third paragraphs could use some improvement as far as the flow of the blog goes.
2. The post was overall great but the transition for paragraphs felt a bit forced.

Brianna B.
briannabrenn.blogspot.com

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