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Saturday, July 17, 2010

Mike's feedback on Dan: The D.E.N.N.I.S System

Good job Dan. I thought you did very well in writing clearly and presenting your points in a logical chronological order. Your post was easy to understand and flowed logically. I also thought you did well in presenting quotes from the readings that were relevant to your content. Lastly, good job following the guidelines for formatting and MLA citing.

On the other hand, there were a few areas that could be improved. I thought there was a lot of narrating the TV show relative to the amount of analysis that was presented. It seems like a decent amount of narration would be necessary to describe your topic, but there should still be more analysis interjected between narrated sections. Also, I felt like the post was lacking a thesis with regards to femininity and masculinity. The post would also be improved with more discussion of what it means to be a man. There is some discussion of masculinity, but it would be appropriate to link those points to what it means to be a man.

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