11 DAYS OF ACTION for THE 2013 DAY OF THE GIRL SUMMIT

11 DAYS OF ACTION

Today is Day 5 of the 11 Days of Action. Click on Day 5 to join Sage Girl and help advance Girls’ Rights around the globe:

DAY 1

DAY 2

DAY 3

DAY 4

DAY 5

DAY 6

DAY 7

DAY 8

DAY 9

DAY 10

DAY 11: ALL DAY WEBCAST FEATURING OVER 50 WORLDWIDE PARTNERS AND SPONSORS OF THE 2013 DAY OF THE GIRL SUMMIT

And there’s more:

Every time YOU participate in one of the 11 Days of Action, you will be entered into a drawing to win a pair of UGG Boots!

So be sure to check back for more details regarding the 11 Days of Action topics, challenges and activities. Together we are changing the world!

Participate in The International Day of the Girl 10.11.13

http://Dayofthegirlsummit.org

The Day of the Girl Summit’s partner, theWorking Group on Girls, is hosting the Girls Speak Out event at the United Nations on 10.11.13 from 3:00PM – 5:00PM EST.

This event will give girls the chance to speak with governments and UN Agencies about how they are making strides for girls in their community. Girls selected for the Girls Speak Out will share information about their strategies for creating change and they will talk about how the international community can support their efforts. Approximately half of the girls at the Speak Out will present on issues related to the International Day of the Girl 2013 theme, “Innovating for Girls’ Education.”

If you can’t be in NYC on October 11, DayoftheGirlSummit.org will live-stream the Girls Speak Out. 

Sarah's Comments on Sam's "Jewelry: Reinforcing Stereotypes"

Sam,

To begin with I really liked all of the pictures you selected for your collage. All the images were really relevant to the topics you mentioned, and were also very clear cut in the ideas they were trying to portray. I also liked the way in which you examined the gendered female within the jewelry industry and the connection to the Hesse-Biber reading. I thought it was a really interested way to view those images of females and their dependence upon men.

I think that while you had all good parts of a thesis for your paper, they were a bit choppy, and could have been better utilized all together in one “to the point” type of thesis. While I found your quotes to be very well picked, I would have liked to have seen them introduced more into your paragraph.

Overall I thought you did a really great job and your collage and paper made me think a lot about the jewelry industry.

Brendan's Feedback on Dan's "Nike and the Slender Amazon"

Interesting choice for the collage. I didn't even realize that Nike was running this huge campaign. I especially liked how focused the collage pictures are on specific parts of the women's bodies. From their butts to their legs, Nike is telling women exactly what's right for them and what they should be doing. I think this is a great company to look at how they are shaping the ideal woman and how they are combining that with the ideas of respect and pride. You found a very specific brand which was good and allowed you to really focus your analysis.
There were a few typos here and there, nothing serious. While Nike is certainly pressuring women to fit into a specific body type, I'm not sure that it's all that bad. (Relative to other advertising campaigns.) It's healthier to be strong and powerful both physically and mentally than to starve yourself and become weak and malnourished. So on the one hand it's shady that Nike is shaping what women should be, but it could be worse. Either way that doesn't make it right, cool post.

Kevin's feedback on Kristi's "Gucci sends gendered submissive messages to sell handbags! " post

Nice post Kristi!

Ways in which you excelled:
-Your choice of "product" to analyze (Gucci fashion) was a good decision. The gendered differences that appear in the ads in your collage are all very relevant to class discussions and the readings from the past few weeks. Your collage itself speaks volumes about Gucci's approach to gender without having to clarify with a single sentence. Really well done!
-I think you chose good excerpts from the readings to support your points. Kilbourne's arguments about women being subordinate clearly manifest themselves in your collage, and Jhally's points about image-based advertising are also applicable to your thesis. You use these sources well to strengthen your own arguments.

Ways in which you could have improved:
-There was a sentence in the first body paragraph that got cut off and made the reading a bit confusing. Consider omitting or revising that part.
-The reading gets a bit choppy where you use outside quotes. This isn't a big issue, but you may sound even more persuasive if you could find a way to make the quotes fall more seamlessly into the flow of your writing.

Dan C's feedback on Archie's "Is Vodka a Man's Drink?"

Good post. I never thought that Skyy Vodka is being advertised to men. Your quotes tie in with your argument very well and they compliment the collage too. Your collage was good because your arguments brought out the similar marketing strategy throughout the pictures. One small thing I thought when going through your post was the title of the post is a little broad for the arguments discussed in it. Everything looks good though and I liked how it got me thinking that Skyy Vodka is advertised to men.

Dan C

Danielle's Feedback on Alexis's: Budweiser's Recipe for Success

I thought you did a really good job with the introduction by giving background on the company and leading in to your thesis. I also liked the way that you tied in the way Budweiser uses misogyny with the way Esquire started doing long ago.

There wasn’t much that could be improved on. Parts of it were a bit wordy and could have been more concise. However, I thought you did a great job overall.

Quay's Feedback on Sarah's: Final Blog Post: Gendered Food Discrimination

First of all I like your collage you can clearly see the distinction between food for women and food for men for McDonalds. I like that you picked a very popular thing to anaylze like McDonalds because we all can relate in some way and all had some experience with McDonald's food. Through your collage and writing analyzing the difference between the two types of food. However I feel that you should have picked on type of gendered food to analyze because it would have made your analysis more in depth. But overall good post!

Sam's Feedback on Quay's Swiffer The Women's Dream Cleaner

Good work Quay, this was a good post.
Things you did well:
-Your collage was done well. when I was putting together my pictures I had a hard time getting them to look good but yours looked great and represented you post well.
-I also liked you first paragraph. Giving the reader a little background information on the product you were talking about was a great idea

Thins to work on:
-There were a couple grammatical errors such as one of you sentences is a question and it ends with a period. Just a couple minor things like that.
-The last paragraph you talk about gendered colors. You say its not pink and purple but still represented for women. I think you should have gone a little deeper into this and explained a little more about this.

Dan's Feedback on Brendan's Collage

I think you did a really good job of using the write-up and collage in order to make your point. It's interesting how such a gender-neutral like vodka can be subjected to such gender biased marketing. Your collage does a good job of illustrating all the points you made in your post. The only room for improvement I see would be that your subject matter was a little too broad (using multiple vodka brands). However, despite that, this was a very interesting blog post and I especially liked the collage.

Kristi's Feedback on Kevin's Harley Davidson: How Pop Culture's Alpha Male Gets Around Post

This is a really interesting topic, with a rather funny concept that Harley is trying to convey. I'm not sure if the women in these collages would ever pair up with the men shown!  Your collage is really well done, the quotes allow the viewer to understand the masculinity gender orientated advertising that Harley uses to sell motorcycles or any of their other products.  Also your reference to the Norwegian "Pleasure Ships", helps the reader understand and realize just how harmful these messages can be.  The quotation used from Katz ties in well to your argument.

I was however just a little unclear of the thesis statement in the first paragraph.  Your explanations seem to be a little broad, but do good job explaining the sexist marketing techniques Harley is using.  I also liked your descriptions about the gender advertising in car commercials, however I'm not sure it was necessary in your piece about Harley. 

Overall awesome job with our last blog post! Enjoy the rest of your summer!

Tarah's feedback on Ashley's: How Gillette's razors are advertised based on gender

Ashley,

Your collage does a great job of being a visual for what the rest of your blog says. The way you positioned your pictures shows the distinct gender separation involved with Gillette razors. I also liked the point you made about how for women, hair removal is a feminine process, and so women's razors reflect this. As for the male side of this, I loved that you incorporated the shark week commercial! I laughed at how outrageous the concept was. My little sister even commented, "yeah, like every man shaves underwater with sharks" (there may be hope for future generations of critical pop culture viewers!). The quote you used to back this up was very relevant to your argument, so you did a great job with that. I'm not sure if the images were cited exactly in MLA format, but we can see what sites you got them from. Other than that, great job with this last blog! Have a nice summer!

:) Tarah

Alexis' Feedback on Danielle's Post: Masculinity Sells: Targeting Males in Beer Ads

When I first opened your blog page I was very surpised to see that we analyzed the same product! We even used the two of the same pictures which I thought was funny. Anyways, I liked the way you chose to analyze the marketing of beer because I feel as though we took somewhat different approaches. 

I really enjoyed the section that talked about the portrayal of the ideal male’s body in some advertisements. Seeing that most men do search for some type of “masculine identity validation” in the products they purchase, it makes sense why a beer advertisement would choose to do this. I also thought you chose very good quotes to back up your ideas. Each one of them seemed to be in the perfect spot.

In regards to something you could have improved upon, I think it would have been appropriate if you included more pictures of men advertising beer in your collages to back up your first point. It may have also been easier to focus on one specific beer brand to target their specific effect on the beer industry in general.

On the whole, I think you did a really great job! Enjoy the rest of your summer!

Archie's Feedback on Dan C's: Miller Lite, a Manly Beer

Interesting topic! I like the quotes, they fit the argument incredibly well. Also the photo collage helps introduce and tie the two quotes together. I like how you used the tv commercial as well in your argument, not just the print ads. However, some of the wording was a little repetitive. The sentence structures are pretty uniform, adding more of a repetitive feel. You could have commented more on the distinction between light and regular beer; it had me a little confused. Overall it was a great post; it kept me thinking!

Ashley's feedback on Tarah's: Girls Drink Pepsi to Get More Sexy

Tarah, 
I really liked your post! I thought you did a good job overall. Pepsi was a good product to choose for this assignment. You did a great job making the collage with hot women and celebrities. Your thesis is well formed and specific, which helps the flow into the next two paragraphs. I also liked the quotes you used because they were very relevant for your argument. I like Breazeale's phrase of "one-dimensional representations of women" and your analysis that the consumers don't care about the opinions of the girls in the ads; they are just attracted to the hot bodies. I also really liked your last point that there are unconscious desires to be like a celebrity, so using celebrities in ads is a great way to attract consumers to the product. 
I actually don't know what you could have done better. I thought this was very well written. Good job.

Dan's Feedback on Quay's Toy Blog Post

This was an interesting post. I liked how you decided to look at products from one toy-maker, especially one that has a history of making gender-based toys like Nerf. You did a good job of making your arguments clear throughout this post. However, I feel that if you had mentioned a product listed on the Toys 'R Us website made by Nerf, it would have improved your argument. It would have been a good example of how Nerf markets their products to young males. Besides that, I think you did a very good job in your blog post.

Brendan's Feedback on Alexis' "Gendered Consumers - Toy Shopping"

         You gave a great and candid analysis of the role and impact of Barbie Dolls on shaping the ideals of young girls. It was an interesting point about how accessible these toys are by almost any socioeconomic class. Whether poor or rich, there still seems to be a corresponding doll for parents to purchase for their young daughters. Sadly Barbie does seem to exemplify what it means to be a female in this country. That point you made is big in my mind. When the entire life goal of a female can be defined by a children's play toy there might be something wrong! (Beauty, fashion, marriage.) I've been sitting here trying to think of the male equivalent but I really can't. At least nothing on the scope of what Barbie perpetuates.
       
      The beginning felt slightly awkward. I think you might have been switching tenses or something, but I don't have a strong writing background so don't take my word for it. You probably could have broken up the gender stereotypes into different analysis paragraphs. I felt like some paragraphs tended to say very similar things.

      We only have one more to go! Woot.

Dan's feedback on Ashley's The American Girl Doll's Message

Hi Ashley,

Your blog post was easy to follow and enlightening.  You hit all the points of your thesis in an easy to read and well organized manner.  The quotes you found in the reading fit into your arguments very well.  The pictures from the dolls do help to see the gender specific roll of delicacy and that all girls are not alike.  I liked how you noted that the American Girl Dolls portray the multiracial world we live in, giving girls the option to choose a doll based on any race.  Great post, I enjoyed it.

Sam's Feedback on Danielle's Barbie's Standards of Femininity

Things you did well:

- Your break down of your paper was easily seen from your thesis and you followed the plan that you set for yourself. Your thesis was, "According to this toy, the ideal woman is white, rich, preoccupied with appearance, and limited to traditional female roles." and once the reader reads that they can prepare for the first topic to be race, and then social class, and so on. I think that its important to list these in order to not only plan the paper for yourself but it also helps the reader.

- Barbie being a toy often discussed in class, can lead to a paper about barbie stale. However, because of the amount of topics tackled such as social class along with the other topics you added more variety and interest. I personally never had really thought about Barbie's wealth but thinking about it after you brought it up made it become so apparent.

Things to improve on:

- You talk about how Barbie is primarily white and wealthy which was great but I think within those two paragraphs you should explain the messages it sends to the little girls. To back up your thesis that Barbie is setting the ideal woman goal you need to explain how all the Barbie's being white and rich effects the girls.

- Some grammar issues here and there. Not really sentences with errors but if you re worded them it may be easier for the reader.

Another great post Danielle!

Kevin's feedback on Sarah's "A Boys Choice? Propagation of Societal Gender Roles in Video Game Marketing" post

Interesting post Sarah! I enjoyed reading it. I've been impressed with your writing.

Ways in which you excelled:
-Your observations about the exclusivity of male characters in sports video games were accurate and showed a good sense of perspective. My brother and I play the Madden NFL games a lot, and it was not until I read your post that I actually thought about the COMPLETE lack of female presence in these games. I think I own every installment of the game since 2004, and the only time I ever remember seeing a female in the game, ever, is in a 5 second cut-scene of a hypersexualized cheerleader dancing during a halftime show. I'm shocked that it had never occurred to me so severely before. Valid point!
-It actually took me over a minute to find the Rolling Stones printed on the cover of that dance game. Frustrating for me, but it totally demonstrates your point that they are not intended to be as visible as Rihanna and the rest.

Ways in which you could have improved:
-Your observations about the toys you analyzed were excellent, and your analysis was quite good as well, but I suppose you could have elaborated just a bit more about the values that these toys impart on young boys.
-Not a big deal, but your longer paragraphs could have been shorten to two, more precise paragraphs. I'm only aware of this because I've written papers where I have written paragraphs that take up 2/3 of a page [single spaced!], and I get this feedback all the time. I don't mind it so much, but I think it helps some readers maintain their focus and attention.