Alexis' Feedback on Brendan's Post: Masculinity Defined in Toy Shopping Field Work

I really enjoyed reading this post! I think you did a great job analyzing toys’ role on the development of children in this society. Though I believe this entire piece was extremely interesting, one of my favorite parts was when you compared boys’ toys to their universally accepted “rite of passage.” This overexposure that boys have to guns at such young ages really may be a contributing factor to this country’s high homicide rate. I think it would be interesting if people started to take this into consideration and stopped encouraging the ‘toy gun’ so that we could see what the effects would be in the long run.

Besides your overall analysis, I also really liked your use of pictures in this post. My favorites were the two that really highlighted the differences between toys that are meant for males and those that are meant for females. For example, soccer, which I think should really be more gender neutral, actually creates a large gender divide by their decoration of the soccer ball in general. The female’s ball has princesses on it, while the male’s has skull and crossbones. This really symbolizes the belief that males who play this sport are supposed to be ‘rough and tough,’ while girls are still supposed to be delicate and gentle.

The only aspect of this post where I felt there was room for improvement was in your introduction. I have typically been taught to avoid the use of quotes in an intro. Though in your case the quote did flow with your ideas, I do think you could have moved it into a lower paragraph to further emphasize your thesis. 

Also, towards the end of your analysis you mentioned a toy that you thought would be considered more “gender neutral,” which was a mini drivable Jeep. Though I do understand that this was too expensive to purchase, I do think it may have deserved an analysis in itself. The fact that a boy specially asked for a Jeep is the first thing to consider. Rarely ever do you see females in advertisements for Jeeps, ultimately creating the idea that a Jeep is more of a “man’s car.” Also, I feel as though if you were to go down the aisle with toy Jeeps you would have seen ones that are pink and others that are black or red. This would clearly distinguish a gender divide here as well. 

Nevertheless, I think you did a really great job with this post! I look forward to reading your next analysis!